The Little Sisters of Divine Grace have been given Papal Permission to present this Lost Book of the Old Testament to the public. This is Biblical scholarship of the highest order, a newly discovered book of the Holy Bible now available for the first time!


was found among the ruins of Nimrud, an Assyrian city from the 13th
century century BC. The remains of Nimrud were bulldozed by the
Islamic State in March 2015. A local imam discovered the clay
tablets of THE BOOK OF HEGGAI, protected them and gave them to an
orthodox priest of the Church of St. Thomas in Mosul, in May 2017.

The tablets containing THE BOOK OF HEGGAI now resides in the Vatican Library.
The Little Sisters of Divine Grace are the first Christians to present
this lost book of the Old Testament to the public.



verses 1 through 14 - The tale of the fourth virgin.

  1. Heggai was servant to the Persian King Ah-Ha-Ser-Rus.

     Heggai was the Keeper of the Women,

    securing their quarters and providing for all the needs of the fair young virgins, the royal concubines and the temple prostitutes.

  2. After he divorced the bitch-queen Vashti, King Ah-Ha-Ser-Rus took

    him Ester as a second wife. Ester bore the King three strong virile
    young men, Ya-keem, Mo-zel, and Bob.

  3. When the sons grew to desire women, the King called Heggai to his royal chambers and said: “Master Heggai, Keeper of the Women,

    you will choose four fair young virgins to serve my three sons.”

  4. Returning
    to his house, Heggai knew the sons of Ah-Ha-Ser-Rus would
    find little pleasure among his current supply of fair young virgins.
    Although some were beautiful to look on, none had any skills in the
    arts of love.

  5. So it came to pass,
    Heggai selected four of his most desirable and most friendly
    virgins to serve the royal sons, one wife for each son, and one
    traveling concubine, her purpose to visit the sons during times when
    their wives were not cooperative, or in the Cycles of the Moon.

  6. Fully aware of the needs of men,

    Heggai began to train his virgins, he said unto
    them:”Maidens, while you are beautiful to look on and have most
    pleasing personalities, you are unprepared for service to the royal

  7. Master Heggai
    said: “Maidens you will be rewarded with gold for your hard work.
    When you fail to learn, you will be rewarded with the whip. As the
    Lord God said to the Elders of Judah, “Thou shall
    spank the bad little girls. Spank. Spank. Spank.”

  8. All four virgins were quick to practice

    the oral, manual and vaginal skills
    taught them in the House of Heggai. But the fourth virgin, Chelsea,
    was not pleased with her fate. Chelsea did not wish to be a
    traveling concubine, with no home of her own, and no status as the
    wife of a prince.

  9. After six months, six days and six hours of training,

    Heggai presented Ya-keem, Mo-zel, and Bob with their women.

    And the sons of the King
    were astonished with great astonishment. Never had the Princes of
    Persia felt the Divine Presence of Almighty God as they felt in the
    arms of Zira, Lyra, Shira and Chelsea.

10.  Living in servant quarters near the loud, smelly kitchen,

Chelsea was miserable in the House of Ah-Ha-Ser-Rus

She missed chatting with the other virgins,

the baths and gardens, and
she missed Master Heggai, as he taught her many sweet pleasures.

11.  So it was Chelsea,

when visiting the Princes of Persia, would help

herself to pieces of gold as the princes slept. Chelsea gathered
gold for four years, and made plans to leave the Royal Houses
forever, to move to the coast and open a café
for sailors and traveling merchants.

12.  But Chelsea was found out.  In chains she was brought before King

Ah-Ha-Ser-Rus for judgment, and the King said:

 “Take this beautiful thief back to

the House of Heggai. Heggai the Keeper of Women will deal with her
as he sees fit. Return all the gold to my sons.

13. With no further punishment, dressed in her finest robes,

Chelsea was brought to the House of Heggai

to be his concubine. King Ah-Ha-Ser-Rus was

greatly pleased with the new happiness of his sons, and therefore
held no ill will for Chelsea nor for her Master Heggai.

14. When Heggai opened his doors to her,

Chelsea fell to her knees, crying
with great joy, smiling and laughing, Chelsea said to Heggai:

“O, my dear Lord Heggai,

 I have shamed thy name before the King of

Persia, and stolen gold from the Princes of Persia. I have been a
bad, bad little girl!   Spank me, O Lord, spank me! Spank me as
written in the Sacred Scriptures of Judah.”

- presented by permission of The Vatican Library, 2019.

Program Details
Topics Comedy, Music, Entertainment
Episode S1E4
Broadcast Week Mar 6th 2019
Duration 00:58:00
Audience Rating TV-MA
Genre Entertainment
Theme Music & Entertainment
Language English

Back to top